"THANK YOU" ISN'T ALWAYS THE MAGIC WORD

GROWING UP I WAS ALWAYS TAUGHT TO SAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU. I WAS REALLY GOOD AT USING MY "MAGIC WORDS". WELL LATER IN LIFE I FOUND OUT THAT THEY AREN'T ALWAYS "MAGIC WORDS" THEY CAN ACTUALLY SOMETIMES HURT. JOEY AND I HAD BEEN DATING FOR ABOUT 4 MONTHS OR SO AND I HAD BEEN HINTING AT THE FACT THAT I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM, BUT I WAS WAY TOO AFRAID TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT SINCE I HAD RECENTLY GOTTEN OUT OF A FAIRLY SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP (THE GUY PROPOSED TO ME ABOUT A MONTH BEFORE JOEY AND I HAD MET, BUT IT JUST WASN'T RIGHT SO I RAN). SO EVERY TIME THE SUBJECT CAME UP OF HOW WE FEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER I WOULD KIND OF CLAM UP. WELL WE WERE AT HIS SISTERS HOUSE WATCHING A MOVIE. NOW WHEN JOEY WATCHED MOVIES HE LITERALLY WATCHED MOVIES PLURAL! HE COULDN'T SIT THROUGH JUST ONE, HE'D WATCH ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF ONE AND THEN TAKE IT OUT AND PUT IN SOME OTHER MOVIE. I DON'T THINK WE WATCHED A FULL MOVIE TOGETHER FOR MONTHS AFTER WE STARTED DATING...MAYBE EVEN UNTIL WE'D BEEN TOGETHER FOR A YEAR. WELL ANYWAY...WE WENT THROUGH MAYBE 3 MOVIES AND DURING ONE OF THEM WE WERE LAYING ON HIS BED AND HE ASKED ME HOW I FELT ABOUT HIM. OF COURSE I CLAMMED UP AND WOULDN'T TALK, COULDN'T TALK, AND WOULD JUST SHRUG. SO HE EVENTUALLY GREW FRUSTRATED AND SAID "FINE YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL SAY IT FIRST, I LOVE YOU CHLOE!" I WAS SHOCKED, AMAZED, BEWILDERED, SPEECHLESS EVEN. I WAS STILL TOO AFRAID TO SAY IT SO I USED ONE OF MY MAGIC WORDS AND EVER SO QUIETLY, LIKE SERIOUSLY BARELY EVEN AUDIBLE SAID "THANK YOU..." I INSTANTLY KNEW THAT THIS WOULD HURT HIM SO I COULDN'T EVEN TURN TO LOOK AT HIM. I JUST LAID THERE HOPING THAT THINGS COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE. HE ASKED "REALLY? I TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AND YOU SAY THANK YOU?" JUST LIKE OUR DISASTROUS FIRST FIRST DATE, THIS TOO TURNED INTO A JOKE. WHENEVER A PERSON ON A MOVIE OR TV SHOW SAYS "I LOVE YOU" AND THE OTHER PERSON SAYS IT BACK JOEY WILL SAY "AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T JUST SAY THANK YOU" AND WE WILL BOTH LAUGH. A FEW DAYS AFTER THIS AWKWARD ENCOUNTER, I TOLD JOEY THAT I LOVE HIM TOO AND HAD LOVED HIM, BUT WAS SCARED TO SAY SO AND HE COMPLETELY UNDERSTOOD. THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I LOVE HIM TOO :) HE IS SO UNDERSTANDING. IT'S NEVER EASY BEING THE FIRST ONE TO SAY THOSE 3 MAGIC WORDS "I LOVE YOU", IT ALWAYS MAKES YOUR STOMACH TURN IN KNOTS AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET NAUSEOUS OR DIZZY...I'M GLAD JOE MADE THAT BOLD MOVE AND WAS THE FIRST TO SAY I LOVE YOU. I LOVE SAYING IT, I LOVE HEARING IT...I LOVE THE WORD LOVE HEHE.